I have heard it a few times now.
I am always in another room when the repetitive, dull thud arrests my attention. My ears prick up with the same intensity as when I'm trying to identify a bird call, only curiosity is replaced by a sick feeling in my gut.
When he becomes very upset, Little Fish has taken to hitting the back of his head against whatever hard surface is closest, usually the floor or the wall. Nothing can describe the powerfully protective and angry emotions that sweep over a mother when she knows that her child is being hurt. It's a very conflicted feeling however, when you know that your child is inflicting pain on himself. Unfortunately, the stronger and more knee-jerk my reaction, the more he screams and continues.
I have no other words for now.
This too shall pass...?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm reading and sending love and loving your incredibly beautiful writing Bloggy!
ReplyDeleteI am grateful that you are letting us all in?
Somehow, I get this strong sense that the more you write it all out, express and create, network and believe, step forward along your scary ascent, available and witnessed by the world, the more you will indeed become the light that you wish to experience.
I am grateful to Littlefish because as I read Temple Grandin's, "Thinking In Pictures", I am starting to understand that the weird way that I perceive life is actually way more common than anyone wants to admit; everyone is faking it!
Thank you for being so real in the middle of the B.S.
The world needs your voice Bloggy and dare I say too that we all have Littlefish to thank for spuring you on. I hear that it is so painful AND, I am sending love for the healing! xoxO
Thanks, Onj. It's so nice to share with you in this way and I am so glad that you are there for me. Love you!!
ReplyDeletedear bloggy,
ReplyDeletescreaming trout pointed me here, and i am so glad.
you are a beautiful writer.
i can relate to yearning for light while not denying darkness.
xoxo
ps - can you send the buddha and his cleaning supplies my way when you two are done? i can't even FIND my altar.